Have you ever found yourself focusing on the things you can’t do and lamenting the fact you can’t do them? Do you wish that you could do some things you enjoy doing better than you can do them? Most of us do have these thoughts and handle them in different ways. Some just continue to do them as they always have, while others seek ways to improve the way they do them. Some people however approach their thoughts in a different way.
Instead of focusing on what they can’t do, they focus on the things they can do, and work on doing them even better. Perhaps you can’t cook a very good baked dinner, but if you can create a wonderful baked cheesecake. Let the cheesecake become your signature dessert. What if you can’t grow tomatoes in your garden, but you can grow flowers. Then create a beautiful garden and become known for the flowers you grow there, rather than the tomatoes you can’t grow.
When we focus on perfecting what we are already doing well, we begin to feel better about ourselves. Every day our self-talk tells us conflicting stories. People may praise us for something we have done or the new clothes we are wearing, but we find it impossible to accept that praise graciously and make a negative comment in response. Our destructive self-talk will often speak louder than the words of our friends. However, focusing on the things we know we are good at, will help our positive self-talk to say things to us that we will believe and will help our overall self-esteem.
Take time this week to enjoy and appreciate the things you are good at, and particularly the ones you believe you can do well. Ask your partner or your friends if you are not sure where your strengths lie. Enjoy focusing your time and energy on helping the good become the best and then enjoy your achievements. Allow yourself to enjoy comments and appreciation of your work.
At first, it may feel uncomfortable for you to accept praise about the good things you do. Try to remember how you feel when you receive a word of praise at work. When you can accept praise for the things you are good at, with ease and sincere gratitude it will be an important step towards a strong and healthy positive self-image.
